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Post by babiidoll on Oct 18, 2007 16:31:42 GMT -5
So here are my thoughts on the second question the one ADINA was asking. I think when two people have a child whether it was planned or not, they both are responsible. I don't actually even think it is fair to have a descision as to whether or not you are going to keep the baby or abort it (in most cases) If you decided you were grown enough to have sex then you should have already decided if you were ready to be a parent or not. One person is not responsible for making the baby therefore one person is not responsible for taking care of the baby. If someone doesn't want to step up because it is an inconvenience then maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to "play the game" I think if the female decides to keep the baby the man should still have to help regaurdless. However with that being said, I told my husband at that time boyfriend that if we ever had kids i would never have an abortion, but that if he wanted nothing to do with his child that was his business, I was a survivor and I could make it on my own with God's help of course, and i would never go after him for child support ( of course he was not just some dead beat though.) He should want to be in his childs life and if not that was a descision he would have to make but then when it came around time to see the child he was not going to have the joys of being a father and not help support. Needless to say 10 years later we are still together and married and have two beautiful kids, but from the first time i slept with him It was already in my head as to what could happen AND YES I WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL actually with both children when i found out both times i was pg. Bottom line is once you find out you are pg then both parties are responsible for taking care of that child.
What is it with the birth control? I know a few people that got pregnant that were on birth control. I know they say that you have to take the pills at the same time everyday but if you've been on it for awhile you would think that there would be enough of the pill left in your body!!!
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Post by ADINA on Oct 18, 2007 17:06:15 GMT -5
I told my friend I was posting this and I told her to read it..hopefully she will...
Everything you guys said, I have told her numerous times but it goes in one ear and out the other. She "says" she's not doing it to keep him (I don't believe her one bit)...i love her to death and sometimes you have to shake some sense into people. She'll constantly ask for advice and do the complete opposite...hopefully she'll read this and open her eyes.
Thanx for your responses ;D
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Post by jenneel on Oct 23, 2007 12:35:17 GMT -5
I can't remember exactly what pill it was, but i did take it everyday at the same time. I want to say it was ortho trycyclin (SPELLING) i know with my daughter I had tried the patch but no luck lol. My mom also got pg with her first child while on birth control.
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Post by jenneel on Oct 23, 2007 12:45:33 GMT -5
Adina, I think alot of women don't see it as trying to have a baby to keep their man. I think they feel like they have a good relationship, but that having a baby would only make it stronger. When in reality it is basically the same thing as having a baby to try and keep your man. They try to sugar coat it and actually make theirself believe what they are doing will work and is the best thing for the relationship. Maybe you guys could sit down together and write down the pros and cons of her having a baby right now. She is probably going to have more pros because she isn't thinking of all sides and that is why i said both of you sit down. You are trying to destroy her and you want to be a good friend and i would just tell her that is why you would like to sit down with her. You talked to all of us and each of us have basically stated the same things. Some of us have kids and i would even explaine that to her maybe even write down the pros and cons to having a child period and then compare that to where she is at this point in her life. Write down things a child needs and one of the most important things is a child needs a mother and father. Although there are lots of kids out ther who only has a mother or father caring for them and they do a great job at playing both roles, but one of the main goals that we need to think of ahead of time it that a child needs a loving mother and father together, and if she can see this guy being there for the rest of the childs life. All of these are questions that need to be gone over.
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Post by emeraldrising on Oct 23, 2007 14:06:50 GMT -5
BASIC FEMALE INSECURITIES
It shows the basic female insecurities and urgency to have someone there. It is the fear of being alone and going to some small extremes short of kid naping to keep a man with you. I believe that alot of females think that if they get pregnant the man will stay out of love when it comes down to it if he stays it is either for guilt or stupidity. A relationship like that will become abusive and the people will regret and despise each other. I have said it once before that females are unstable and that instability is what makes alot of woman think that a baby will keep a man. Sometimes a baby will run a BOY off instead of making him stay. A female that does that has no self confidence or love for herself and will 9 times out of 10 regret the child she had also.
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